When I'm Gone
by Escuro de la Lus
Summary: One-shot based on the song by 3 Doors Down. Tear Jerker. Character Death. Implied Shounen Ai (YY/Y). Get a box of tissues handy.*R/R*


Escuro: Character Death. Major angst. Tear-jerker.  
  
Yami: What's with you?  
  
Escuro: ...  
  
Yami: I guess I'll just do the disclaimers. Escuro does not own Yugioh nor does she own the song "When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down.  
  
Escuro: ...  
  
Yami: O.o Okay then. On with the fic.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*lyrics*  
  
"speech"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
*There's another world inside of me that you may never see.  
  
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide.*  
  
I looked at the glinting eye on my puzzle contemplating it's contents. To imagine that this gold trinket opened up an entire new place in my soul; a darker place, a secret place. A world of complete darkness and magic, where anything was possible. This world was my own. I discovered it shortly after my grandfather died, hidden in my soul room.  
  
When I first found it I was scared. But it drew me into the darkness and my innocence was forever tainted. From that day forward I was part of the shadow realm; forever attracted to the darkness. Everyone knew something was wrong. My attitude changed drastically. Soon Yami became worried and asked me about it. Of course I just smiled and said I was fine. I could sense he didn't believe me but he hasn't asked me since then.  
  
*Somewhere in this darkness there's a life that I can't find.  
  
Maybe it's too far away or maybe I'm just blind, maybe I'm just blind.*  
  
In the darkness I could create a world of my own. A fantasy so real I could live there for days on end. But disappearing for a few days would raise more suspicions. The mythical world I create can be altered to my precise liking becoming the life I wish to have. At times when I'm at my weakest and cannot fulfill the price of the shadow realm my fantasy world disappears. It is those times that I fall into a deep depression.  
  
When I realized what the darkness was doing to me it was too late. The darkness became a drug for me. I was at its mercy. It wouldn't be long before the darkness would eat away at my soul until I was nothing. Just a memory...  
  
* So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.  
  
Everything I am and everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be.  
  
I'll never let you down even if I could.  
  
I'd give up everything if only for your good.*  
  
My friends, my family, my Yami, they all had to know. But the darkness wouldn't let me. Oh how I wished that I never embraced the realm of evil. How I wished I had stayed with my Yami, listened to him, maybe I would've been happier. Now that I'm so close to leaving all I want is to be with him.  
  
*So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared but you won't always be there,  
  
So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone*  
  
I'm sitting on the couch with his arms around me. His face buried in my hair and his eyes shut tight. A look of pure content on his Egyptian features. I bite my lip as I tried to hold back my tears. I didn't want him to suffer because of my death. I didn't want anyone to grieve over my death. I brought this upon myself and so I deserve to pay. But he deserved to know...  
  
*When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin.  
  
I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends.*  
  
The darkness clouded my mind erasing the thought I just had. Yami, sensing my emotional distress, opened his crimson eyes with worry.  
  
"Aibou, what is wrong?" he whispered as he stroked my hair lovingly.  
  
I turned from his gaze and stared at the differences. Our differences. My skin was colorless, almost white, compared to my other's tanned complexion. My body weak and sickly; his well-built and strong. This is what the darkness has done to me. This is what it is doing as I think these thoughts.  
  
*Now roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone.  
  
Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone.*  
  
I stared back up into those concerned crimson orbs as they looked into my dull lifeless lavender ones. I gave him a chaste kiss before burying my face into his chest. I could sense the confusion from his end of the link as his grip on me grew tighter. The darkness was draining me fast and I hardly had the strength to move anymore. Yami took this as a sign of drowsiness.  
  
*So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.*  
  
He picked me up with ease as he carried me up the steps. He was whispering a lullaby, an Egyptian one. Although foreign to my ears they soothed me from my fear of death.  
  
*Everything I am and everything in me.  
  
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be,  
  
I'll never let you down even if I could.  
  
I'd give up everything if only for your good.*  
  
As we lay in my bed, him nuzzling my neck and I trying to hold onto the shred of energy I had, I realized how much I loved life in the outer world. My fantasy world could never compare to what I have here.  
  
*So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there,  
  
So love me when I'm gone.*  
  
It's too late now...  
  
*Maybe I'm just blind*  
  
Yami pauses and looks up at me. His eyes full of love. I trace his cheek weakly with my pale hand and he leans into my small touch.  
  
*So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.  
  
Everything I am and everything in me,  
  
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be. I'll never let you down even if I could.  
  
I'd give up everything if only for your good.  
  
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there.*  
  
"Gomen nasai Yami. Aishiteru," were the last words to pass my lips as the darkness enveloped me completely.  
  
*So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone....*  
  
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Escuro: Review.  
  
Yami: Who are you and where is Escuro??  
  
Escuro: ...  
  
Yami: Forget it. Just review. 


End file.
